Give first to receive !
Today I understood that love is not to be taken as granted. You reap what you sow, that is the main law of this world.
I screamed at my daughter last week just because she refused to kiss me … It can potentially ruin my relationship with her, her love and trust. Regret it so much. Then I came to understand that Life is about giving first !
I basically expect that my daughter should love me unconditionally. That my wife should love me unconditionally. But it’s not because I am their father/husband that I can demand that love. Love should be earned and does not come just because of “relation”. If I hurt them, then they will not love me. If my ego is bigger than the love I have toward them, then my love is just temporary, selfish love, it is not true love.
If my love for my daughter is not unconditional, then I can’t demand her to love me back just because I am her dad. If I don’t deposit, I would not have any saving to withdraw. If I didn’t give, how can I demand anything? Why should I expect that God loves me unconditionally? I can’t. Life is conditional, if I didn’t do more than other people, why I should have more than them? Why should I expect that my Church or my friends love me? If I haven’t done much for them nor for the Church, I can’t expect to be loved !
A parent’s love for a child will only be returned in half. So if I want my child to love me this much, I have to love her a double of that first. A parents role is a giver’s role, not a 50-50 relationship. So love your child like you love yourself, just throw ego away! And work hard to earn their trust!
Know how to receive !
The trick here is give first and don’t force people to give back. When you expect something back from people you just gave, it is just wrong, (it’s basically forcing people to pay back – people don’t like to be forced) and this cause pain for you.
Firstly, thing that you gave may not be important for them. You love someone and you want them to love you back. But your love is not what they want, so they don’t give a damn, then you are hurt … You gave people some small helps and want them to give back you some, but they don’t have time for you so, and you are hurt.
Secondly, it’s the way you ask, how you ask for the favour, that is a critical factor. You need to make people feel good first, before asking anything. Also when asking, try to feel the vibration, as each person have different preferences. Some would like to do something, some don’t like to do something. If you ask something they don’t like to do, then even a small thing is big. People may like to do something some of the times, but not other times, so the moment is important as well.
For example, some people would gladly give you their advices when they are enjoying, but not when they are busy. People have their own thinking and usually do what they ‘feel like doing’. So, cater to their ‘feeling’. Be a master of ‘feeling’ – who can create great feelings for others !
Be Super Positive !
How to be liked ? I always want to be liked, and I am sad when I am not liked. I always try to understand why some people are liked, and to learn from them.
Naturally, people prefer someone good looking than the ugly ones. Some people have it easier because they look good. Kids are loved as they are cute. Pretty girls are just naturally liked for their beauty. But you have to work to be beautiful, take care of your beauty, exercise to be fit and strong.
People also love strong, full of energy individuals. A weak, timid person is usually ignored, not loved. People love confident, independent people.
People also love happy, passionate people.
Happy people give out a good feeling for other people, happiness is attractive, just like loving people are attractive. But you have to be consistently happy. Like a good employee must be consistently good, you can’t be good some days and then not good some other days, a hard working person must be consistently hard working, you can’t be sometimes hard working !
To be consistently super positive, to never harbour negative thinking, you have to train yourself. This is mental strength. The best tennis players all have superb mental strength, to cut down all the negative thought, all the complaints, all the blames, all the regrets, immediately!
Get the all of negative feelings out of your system immediately, by erasing them with good memory, by overriding with great feelings, with gratitude, with feeling of happiness, with feeling of success, victory. If some people made you unhappy, just forgive them, they won’t be given the power to shake your mental calmness ! Think about the good time with them, bring that back. Think about life, life in Australia is great, best in the world, your happy family, your great job, your beautiful house …
Create small success everyday, so your feeling account is always POSITIVE ! Do good everyday, be nice and kind to people, your mind should always be filled with great thoughts, amazing things !
Don’t let others affect you !
One of my main weaknesses is letting others affect my mental state. Somebody being rude, and I am angry. Somebody being inconsiderate, and I am hurt. A mental strength is like a physical strength, it means standing firm under pressure, it means withstanding punches and avoiding wounds. Let’s others’ mean behaviours sliding over you, ignore these, as you are living by your principles and therefore you are happy being yourself.
Never try to please other people. Be nice, but don’t care about pleasing them, just focus on growing your awesomeness. Because pleasing them give them the power over you and your mental peace. You have to worry about pleasing everyone -> you forgot your principles.
Living by principles is the main thing! Once you live by principles, build yourself up, and gather achievements, you just need to be polite and people will like you. There is no point in try to be liked and neglecting your principles, as that is catering to the leaves, not the root of the tree.
Be the best !
As a Christian, dream big, as God bless you, so you should be able to overcome all obstacles. Be humble, never arrogant, be positive, never pessimistic, be perseverant, never give up! Our confidence is not in the words we speak, but in work we do. So no need to speak loudly, but let the actions speak.
As a Christian, we have to silently aim to be the best! As Christians, we have less pride, and more patience. We can have hope in the toughest moment, we can persevere more than everyone else, due to the strength and the backup that God provides. So in the challenging times, we can rely on His power.
God changes our lives, we are destined to prevail, to succeed, to win! So, pray and push through! We will win in the end!
“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.” Ecclesiastes 7:8